Find Me
by Kaelin P
Summary: No one ever tries to find him in that corner...


**Find Me by Gaki**  


_Yes yes, this is so weird, confusing and horrible. Proof that I should never write when I should be sleeping. Forgive me. ;_;_

The weather man had said it was going to be a sunny day. He'd smile brightly from within the TV with his brand new suit and beautiful tie and said that the skies were clear. He'd smiled and laughed, joking with the anchorman and anchorwoman about how lucky they were to have "Another beautiful weekday!" 

He'd lied. 

It was not a beautiful sun filled day. The sky was not a pleasant blue color nor was the clouds a gentle puff of white. There were no blue skies or smiling sunlight. There was only the dark angry sky that was currently crying bouts of cold raindrops upon him and the unfortunate people who had trusted the smiling weather man and came out of their homes. There was only the loud sound of thunder and the hard slapping of the wind against his body. There was only the cold, the biting wind, the hard rainfall and the howling thunder. 

The sun was hiding from them today and it did not want to come out. 

Never again would he trust that smiling weather man, he mused to himself as he shivered from where he sat. Never again would he turn on the TV and for once believe that that weather man was correct. 

He sneezed. 

He should never have left his home. Should never have once think that the weather would be beautiful and sunny. The weather was unpredictable. The weather was part of Mother Nature. No one can really say if the weather would be calm or horrid. Things are never what they seem to be and the weather was no exception. 

He sneezed again. 

He really should never have left his home. He shouldn't have left his warm comfortable home with his blanket and his couch and his things. Shouldn't have forgotten his jacket and his scarf and his umbrella. 

He really hated that weather man with the smiling face. 

In the distance, he heard the thunder roar loudly as sparks of brilliant white light crisscrossed the dark sky above him. Shuddering, he hugged himself as he tried to keep warm. 

He really hated the rain too. 

When it was raining, the air was always too cold and the sky too grey. When it rains, things became darker and stranger. Rain changes things. Rain makes things worst, causes people to become sober and depressed. Rain brought back memories that should be forgotten and makes a person want nothing more than to hide away until the rain stops. When it rains, the whole world seems cold and aloof and cruel. When it rains, it thunders. 

And when it thunders, the ground would shake like a large hand reaching out and slamming itself the earth.

When it thunders and it sounds like slaps it makes him think about that room. It makes him think about the room with the bars and the shadows and the floor and the crack on the wall that always seems as if there's something on the other side that's looking at him. _Hey child, are you lonely?_ The wall with the crack and the voices that never stops talking to him and scaring him and making him cry and cry and cry until the rain stops and everything becomes silent again. _Hey child, shall I come out and keep you company?_ When it rains it makes him want to cry because it makes him remember and he doesn't want to remember because remembering it hurts. He didn't want to remember the hurt anymore. 

Didn't want to remember how he wanted so much to run from that room. _Are you crying, child?_ He didn't want to remember the window with the bars like a prison, a prison for him and only him because he's been such a bad child. _Such a bad child, you should be punished._ He didn't like that room. There were things within that room that made him shiver. Things like eyes in the darkness looking out at him. _Such a bad child, I'm going to come out and get you._ Things like hands and hair and tail and whiskers and eyes reaching out for him. 

No one knew what happened to him inside that room. _Bad bad child. Such a bad boy should not go unpunished._ No one knew because no one cared. No one wanted to come near that room with the bars in the window. No one saw what happened to him inside that cold and dark and lonely room. Only he knew what happened. Only him and the eyes that wouldn't stop staring at him. Eyes on the wall and eyes inside the crack on the walls. He hated them. They saw everything. They saw and saw and never did anything. He hated them. _Are you scared, child?_

He cried in that room. 

He cried and screamed and shrieked and pleaded and begged and wept inside that room. 

_Do you want to go out, boy? _

No one heard him and if they did, they ignored him. He could scream until his throat was raw and they still wouldn't come. _There was a time where the sun would shine down warmly on his back._ No one tried to find him in that room. No one came to look through the door and try to find his form huddling in the corner. _There was a time where he would reach his hand out and he would be met halfway._ He wanted them to come and find him, but they never came. Only the eyes inside the cracks on the walls would see him. He didn't want them to see him anymore. 

He hated them.

_There was a time where he could see the sun high above in the sky and feel the warm ground under his feet_. No one found him inside that room. They heard him. They heard his screams and his weeping, but they didn't come. He was alone. He was so alone in that room. 

He shivered, hugging himself tighter as he sat alone on the bench of the bus stop as the rain continued to fall on him. He shivered and then he sneezed again. 

He hated the cold. 

He hated the rain and the dark clouds and the thunder. 

He hated the sun for going away and not coming back. Hated it for being a coward and hiding behind the angry clouds. 

He hated the people who kept on walking by and never once looked at him. Hated them because they were like the ones who passed by that room and never once looked in and help him._ There was a time where he could laugh and play and be joyful. _

He hated them for not looking in and trying to find him. Loathed them for not looking in and open the door and go in and find him huddling in that corner with the crack in the wall staring at him. Despised them for not coming in and trying to look for him. _There was a time where people walked by and noticed him._

Disliked them for not seeing him in that corner in the room; all alone. No one tried to find him. No one tried to look for him. No one saw the smile that played across the dark faces of the shadows or the tightened grasp of the hands and heard the laughter that ran through his mind. 

No on saw because no one came. 

_Do you want to go out, child?_

A flash of bright hot light crossed the sky, lighting up his face and startling him from his thoughts. Glaring up at the sky, he finally knew why he left his home even when he saw the clouds building up a storm when he looked out his window. He knew why he left the safety and warmth of his room and sat alone on a bench in the rain. 

Because he didn't like being alone in his room, in his house, when it rained. Because no one came to his home when the sky was angry. Because no one cared to try and find him alone in his room, huddling into a corner as he tried to hide from the shadows.

He shivered, almost curling into himself on the bench as he clenched his teeth. 

He left his home because he didn't want to be reminded of that room in that house in that place. 

Sneezing loudly once again, he raised a hand and felt his forehead. It was hot. It wasn't just hot, but it was burning. He narrowed his eyes as his vision became blurry --- trees blending into each other as twin browns became one big gook. Swallowing, he became slightly confused when he couldn't feel the rain falling on him anymore. He became even more confused when he felt something heavy and warm and smelling of cinnamon on his shoulders. 

He looked up and saw Tsuzuki with an umbrella standing over him with an angry look. 

_Oh. Tsuzuki… _

And then the world became a swirl of colors before he was engulfed in nothingness. 

_"I hate you." _

_He said out loud into the room. Of course, there was no one inside the room but him. No one to keep him company but himself. Still, he spoke out. "I hate you." _

_And even though he was all alone in the room, a voice from somewhere spoke out, curious. "Why do you hate me?" _

_He didn't answer instantly. Instead, he glared around the room. He glared at the window that teased him about the outside world. He glared at the floor for being as hard as it was. He glared over at the walls and then moving his glare at the crack on the wall across from where he sat. He glared into that crack and swore he saw a smile somewhere from inside it. _

_"… because… you won't let anyone find me." _

He knew he was back in his house, back in his room, without even opening his eyes. He knew because he knew what his bed felt like. He could smell the detergent in the sheets that have seen far too many types of washing. But there was one thing that was different in his room. There was another person in it; a person he didn't think would come looking for him. 

Tsuzuki was currently sitting somewhere beside his bed. He could feel his partner's warmth as it stood out in his strangely cold room. He didn't open his eyes, however. Though he knew Tsuzuki was looking at him and he knew that Tsuzuki knew he was awake. 

Outside the thunder roared and the sky wept. 

"You have a fever." Tsuzuki's voice spoke out. 

Slowly, he opened his eyes but turned his face so that he was looking out the window of his room. He had a fever. He knew it. His hands felt clammy and he couldn't think straight. His throat felt dry and his face was hot. Yet he still felt cold even with his thick blanket tucked tightly around him. He kept quiet, he didn't feel much like talking and he felt that if he did start talking, he would say nonsense. 

"I called Tatsumi and told him that you're sick. You don't have to come in tomorrow." Tsuzuki went on. 

Another spark of light crossed the sky and lighted up his room. The rain continued to beat against his window. 

He was still quiet. 

There was a rustle from somewhere to his right as Tsuzuki moved. His bed shifted slightly as Tsuzuki seated himself at his feet. They sat in complete silence for awhile as the weather became worse outside. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. The air in Hisoka's room became colder some how, and the younger of the two pulled at his blanket, trying to cover more of himself. It was getting too cold. He didn't like it. He didn't want to be back in his room. Not when it was still raining. Not when it looked like that room back in that place. He closed his eyes again. 

He didn't want to be back in here. He didn't want to be back in there, huddling in that small corner. 

His bed shifted again as Tsuzuki moved. "… Why were you out in the rain, Hisoka?" 

He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to open his eyes and see the shadows lurking in the corners of his room. He squeezed his eyes tighter, his hands clutching at the edges of his blanket as he tried to ignore the thunder. _Do you want to go out, child? _

"Hisoka? …" The bed shifted more as he felt Tsuzuki lean forward, towards him. "Answer me… why did you go out alone?" 

_"I want to go out." He whispered quietly as he held his skinny knees to his chest. "…I want to leave." _

_T__he room was quiet. The window was clear. The crack on the wall smiled at him. "You can't go out." _

_"…I want to… why can't I?" _

_"No one will see you if you leave. No one will notice you." _

_He closed his eyes. "…they already don't see me in here." _

_The crack on the wall smiled wider at him. "Why do you want to go out, child?" _

_Hugging his knees closer to his chest, he whimpered quietly. "… because… I want them to find me."_

He couldn't stop himself. His mouth opened before he knew what he was doing.

"… I didn't want to stay here." His voice was low, so much softer than Tsuzuki's. His eyes were still closed. 

"Why not?" Tsuzuki's voice was equally soft, encouraging him. 

His hands clenched and unclenched at his blanket as his brows drew together. He licked at his suddenly dry lips. 

"… I… don't like it here when it rains." _It's lonely here. _

"I… " He swallowed, suddenly afraid. "… I… hate it here." _It gets so cold. _

"The… thunder and the… the… " _The shadows on the walls and the eyes in the darkness and the voice that won't leave me alone are all here. _

"… It gets… I…" _… It's lonely here. _

"… I…" _… I just… _

"I don't want to…" _… I want someone… _

"… Be…" _… find me. Find me in that corner. _

The feeling of something large and warm closing around his shaking hand caused him to open his eyes with a start. Large frightened green eyes looked deep into silent tender violet as Tsuzuki's hand tightened around his smaller one. Tsuzuki didn't say anything for awhile, only looking back at him with his eyes so warm and gentle. He didn't look away, he _couldn't_ look away. Those eyes captured his and he felt too weak to fight against them. 

After a moment or so of looking into his partner's startled eyes, Tsuzuki lifted his left hand and brushed a wet lock of hair from Hisoka's cheek. He didn't move his hand away, however, keeping it against Hisoka's face as he smiled reassuringly down at the blonde haired child. 

"… It's okay, Hisoka." He whispered softly, his thumb brushing against the wet cheek. "It's okay. I'm here now." 

Feeling the strangely soothing touch against his cheek slowing down to a stop, Hisoka let out a shuddery breath as he closed his eyes. The heat from Tsuzuki's hand reached out towards his skin, warming up his sweaty face and reaching down low onto his neck and through out his body. Letting out another slow breath, he pressed his cheek against that hand, letting his thoughts of eyes in the night and voices laughing at him fly away as he repeated Tsuzuki's words over and over again. 

**_"I'm here now." _**

_No one had come for him when he was alone in that room. No one looked in. They all passed by without a second glance. No one tried to look for him as he hid in the corner of that room. _

_Until one day, the door suddenly opened and in walked a man with dark colored hair. In came a smiling face with two beautiful violet eyes and a cheerful voice speaking out loudly, "Hisoka! There you are! What are you doing all alone over there?" _

_And he'd looked up and blinked, completely shocked as that man suddenly reached out, offering his hand to him. _

_"Idiot," the man said fondly, a smile on his face. "Come on, take my hand. It's no fun being alone in here." _

_And before he slowly lifted his hand out towards larger tanned ones, he turned his head and looked into that same crack on the wall and said softly. _

_"… Look. **He** found me."_

The next day sun peeked out from behind a curtain of grey clouds. The land was wet and the sky was slowly clearing up. The sun moved the clouds from its face as it began to reach out with its warm hands to touch at the rooftops and plants. On a tree branch across the street of a small one story house, a blue breasted bird fluttered its wings out to shake the dew drops from the leaves off its feathers. 

Unlike the day before, the new day was calm and peaceful. Clouds that were once angry were now sober and empty, disappearing slowly from the sky as the sun became braver and reached its hands further outward. Slowly, the sun rose higher and higher and the warmth spread out further and further across the houses below. 

A new day has come and everyone was awake to welcome it with arms open wide. 

Inside the house across from the tree where the blue breasted bird was resting, the sun slowly made its way through the window of a bedroom. Bright light trailed down the walls and bathed the floor with its warmth. Shadows of the night slowly disappeared as the sun broke through the window and brought forth comfort and peace to those who were still sleeping within the bedroom. 

On the bed inside that room, a young boy with blonde hair was currently still sleeping. Eyes of jade were closed in a peaceful sleep without any nightmares to shake him awake. His chest rose and fell in a soft steady rhythm. Supporting his head was a soft pillow and wedged between his cheek and the pillow was a hand. That hand belonged to another person, a person with dark colored hair and soft violet eyes. 

As the youth continued to sleep, his companion continued to watch over him, never once lifting his hand away. And as the room became fully lighted by the sun's rays, he turned his head slowly towards the window and gazed out of it for awhile. After a minute or so, he looked back, smiling softly. He lifted his right hand to brush it across the boy's exposed cheek, lightly running his thumb up and down the soft slope and tucking a strand of golden blonde behind the sleeping boy's ear. 

Pulling his hand away, folding it on the bed and resting his head on his arm, Tsuzuki continued to watch Hisoka sleep. He continued to smile, thinking how relaxed Hisoka's usually glaring face looked --- how real and vulnerable his partner really was. 

**_"… I… don't like it here when it rains." _**

His eyes soften as Hisoka stirred, pressing his left hand deeper into the pillow and closer to his cheek as he continued to sleep. 

"… It's okay, Hisoka. I'll be here… Every time it rains." 

**End **


End file.
